What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 28.06.2025 00:23
This is soul school!.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
End of an Era: Landsat 7 Decommissioned After 25 Years of Earth Observation - USGS (.gov)
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Mario Kart World Guide - All Courses, Cups, Missions, Collectibles, Tips & Tricks - Nintendo Life
I never cut or harmed myself..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
A reinvigorated push for nuclear power in space - SpaceNews
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Aaron Civale traded to White Sox for Andrew Vaughn - Brew Crew Ball
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
What are you struggling with in your life? What would you like to have instead?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Why cant I stop thinking about counsellor between sessions?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Why men with broken heart syndrome are more likely to die, according to experts - East Idaho News
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
She married twice! .
But ive been too sick for many years..
Which is the correct Tamil New Year, Thai-1 or Chithirai-1?
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Dietitians say: If you want to lose weight, eat dessert - Business Insider
I could never make a relationship work though!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I think the readers, may guess!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Roman Anthony joining Red Sox on Monday; No. 1 prospect gets call to majors - MassLive
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
iFixit says the Switch 2 is even harder to repair than the original - The Verge
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
When she asked me how she looked .
Connor Zilisch and crew chief Dale Earnhardt Jr. win Pocono NASCAR Xfinity race - Motorsport.com
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I was 9 years of age.
I don,t even have a pension.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My family never makes their pension either.
I said to her
I write beautiful poetry .
She was in good health!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
What did i know ?
Who then, do I blame.?
But it wasn’t much.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
So, i spoilt her more .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Was to survive, this bastard.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I will be 64.
Comes on , in middle age.
I waited trembling.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I couldn’t, believe it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Im still living with it.
But, we were locked up after school.
Especially a lifetime of it.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
He knew the spot.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Ive learnt so much.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
All the time i was locked up.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Why did i forgive my father ?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As i do to all so called friends.?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I was scared of men, in general
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She wouldn,t have been !
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
And i lived it daily.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
One cannot live in the past .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
We were not on the streets..
We all went to grammer schools
So whats the point in blame.
I was seconnd youngest,
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
She loved him until the end.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Put me off passion for life!!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Would this be the day?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
(And it was in our own minds.)
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
It was going to be , some day.
My life is so biszare .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I was very sick at this time too.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She found it foreign!.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I have no regrets .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!